No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
