I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize