Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
