as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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