You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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