Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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