New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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