Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
