I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
