He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize