Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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