I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
