I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize