Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
