I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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