how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
