Whod you bang
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
