That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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