Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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