I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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