nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize