Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
