Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
