lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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