Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
