I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
