Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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