K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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