we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
