No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
