I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
