FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
