first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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