ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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