i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
