I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
