Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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