for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
