spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize