WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
