i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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