did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
