5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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