Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
