she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
