You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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