So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
