hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is Oprah even human
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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