hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
