so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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