I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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