my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
