I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
