I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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