Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
