i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dignity is for republicans.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
