um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Send help, water and tortillas.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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