they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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