Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How's work?
Spinning.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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