One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We are all done wearing pants today
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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