just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
