Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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