Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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