is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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