You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize