Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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