You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
