I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
