We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
