i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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