So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
