You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
