So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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